You Were the One

cherry pink
compacted losses
pretty feathers
you were the one
i completely screwed over
so softly i barely knew it
a shadow of a move
tracing backward
showered in shame
and emerged under the table
of a dog’s breakfast.

On the Shore of Everything I Created (Without You)

this quiet night
i reach
to sense
for the opening
to a calm
about the choice you made
to collapse your world
to shift
your focus
and to find your place
within the arms
of this new universe
on the shore of everything
i created without you.

there is a shakiness
that comes with this
heading out each morning
locking my front door
half expecting to see you there
when i turn to face the day
relieved at the impossibility
still, scanning the slushy streets
looking over my shoulder
on the streetcar, wondering
what you look like
as a stranger now
from across a crowd of people.

and now that you’re here
somewhere tangible
within this city
i can get a little choked up
thinking of what you might be facing
but i know better
to not extend my reach
into the nothingness
that swallows our history
we have nothing there now
to balance on
this means something new
needs to be created
and there is simply
no place for that.

instead i see myself
settling into an order
that has been restored
you are here
with those you love
who i love too
and they all love us
so I’m somehow happy
to know you are nestled
into your own fold
of this night unwinding.

With My Arm Wrapped Around Her

I often dream of my grandma
glimmering Ukraine eyes
sometimes right up close
draped in her mink coat
overlooking a mint green sea
on a continent I’ve never been
my arm wrapped around her
offering affection
she would not reach for then
but was claiming here right now.

I moved from within
to enfold her
capable and sturdy
all 4 foot ten of her
my head tilted to touch hers
my chin itchy
on her cashmere beret
her sparkling brooch
dialoguing with the sea
looking down at her face
I see her eyes
steady and smiling
and I knew
that us meeting here
like this
was no minor thing.

Other times it’s over there,
I see her in saccharine mist
walking a leafy autumn hill
alone as she would have it
and I deeply sense
the deliberation of her choice
to be with me
extending vigor and clout
to take into my waking
sleepy morning darkness.

I Saw it Living Inside

the art inside me
seeped out on bloor st. west
the snow beneath my heel
i felt the art
that i’ve been reaching to create
i saw it living right inside
with me everywhere
spilling out so effortlessly
now, onto this moment and that
and i wonder if
this is what it’s like.

without the old tether
i see that things like inspiration
are right here
in the radiatar and red clock,
not perplexing me.