Fling & Refocus

to get unstuck
outside parts of yourself
that stick and harden
fool you into thinking
a different way
is always escaping.

i want to unstick
because perspective
is not a flash light
onto reality
but is the core and creator
of all you give and get.

yes to give
i want to give more
give to everything
not just me or someone i love
but give just to give
by being with and working at
what i love
and have created for myself
not dealt
to me by some unnameable force.

you are what you give
you are what you love too
and it’s hard to say which comes first
because when i give i love
and when i love i give too.

To Face the Sun

a frayed illusion
exposes its parts
once again
and even though
it’s in a dream
i still feel transformed
like a decision was made
without a choice being offered.

a fantasy
where i am relishing
every moment
overturning my reality
to clutch the potential
but this time
i almost falter
then flinch and recall
a love so bright
that i turn
and for the first time
i change.

i don’t change my mind
instead i change myself
like the first little leaf
turning
on an end-of-summer tree
facing a new colour
for the sake of renewal
so the bud on the stem
gets a chance
to face the sun.

All It Is

A life more simple
with gentle care and loving focus
like folding laundry
as though each crease
seals my intentions further.

Spring leaves brushing new sky,
sunlight dancing on white linen
simple meals with smiles
so effortless
you can feel them
in the next room.

A mind less tangled
where questions can exist
without the pull for answers
where mystery is left alone
to weave itself
into the fabric
of everything I love.

A table cloth
with small flowered print
with years of rest
beneath elbows and dishes,
will call to me in the morning
and at night –
it will be like that,
that’s all it is.

This is Where the Gift Begins

particles of everything
make up the whole
and i know that nothing or nobody
is ever a simple plan
or anything less than a biological movement
trying its best for balance.

maybe i had become a shell
inside of a shell
with half-feelings retracted from myself
without knowing
because it came in small particles
with density so huge
the imbalance knew it needed to diffuse
do something to rattle the scales.

I’m not very happy about it
but if i did it, i did it
with something strong enough
inside of me to bring me out of myself
to risk, to hurt
and give myself veritably nothing in return,
aside from the experience
which folded in on itself anyway.

but
I keep being told
that this is where the gift begins
because now all the details and bits
of truths or perceptions or illusions
are so scattered and dispersed,
that all i can do is use the intuition
i should’ve been listening to all the while.

In One Breath I Feel All This

the slippery slope of love when it happens is like wrapping my head around an impossible idea, leading to happiness, lagging to depression, either way i’m up for it and scared of everything. waiting on a broken dream to be miraculously fused back together again. i know it won’t happen. i don’t know if it will happen. i want it to happen. i don’t want it to happen. i’m ready to walk away; i don’t know why i’m walking away. i don’t know how i walked away; i don’t know how i ever stayed. loosening my grip on my past doesn’t get any easier and i’m stuck in between then and now and all of the possibilities ever. i reach for your blue and want to fall under the soothing and hypnotic trance of love and as i extend i also withdraw and turn to look behind me. something is chasing me; something is running away from me. i run away from it; i chase after it.